Skip to content

Why Erotica?

Or, as my Very Proper Sister put it during our recent visit, “Why don’t you write something your kids can read?”

Well, I stammered, if I was writing for my six-year-old, all my stories would involve a dog named Bob who runs fast. And, if my kids want to read my writing, they can wait until they’re 18 just like everyone else.

Of course my sister’s real question – the question I’ve seen over and over, wrapped up in different outfits  – is, “Why the hell do you want to write about filthy, disgusting sex?!?”

Good question.

The first answer, the easy answer, is It Just Happened.

I started writing in 2014, after 13 years of not writing a damn thing (I talk about that decision here). I wrote a few sci-fi short stories, some flash fiction, and some speculative fiction.

Then I got this idea…What if the Norse god Loki showed up at my grad school alma mater, the University of Chicago?

In the middle of the night?

In someone’s bedroom?

Well, what would you do if a Norse god showed up in your bedroom? (You’d do this. Don’t lie to me.)

So that’s the easy answer: Smut showed up, and I ran with it.

But that’s not the whole truth. After all, I could have just slammed the door on that smut.

slam door
Leave me alone, you smut!

So here’s the more complicated answer.

First, I’m a philosopher.

I spent six years studying philosophy and religion. I’m fascinated by human decisions, I’m drawn to transcendent experiences, and I want to explore the things that push us to go beyond our greedy self-interest, to defy our own rationality.

In short, I like the things that make people crazy. 

And sex makes people crazy. It pushes our boundaries, it blurs the lines we so carefully build. It defies rationality and reveals something far more interesting beneath the surface.

As a writer, who wouldn’t want to explore that forbidden territory?

Well, as it turns out…

No One Talks About Sex, and I’m tired of it.

Turn on the TV and watch for, oh, twenty minutes.

How many people died in those twenty minutes? At least a few, right? And, depending on the channel or time of day, I’m betting some of those deaths were gruesome.

Shot in the head? GROSS!

And how many people had sex?

That’s what I thought. You probably saw scantily clad women, flirting, and innuendos, but I’m willing to bet my entire profits (ha!) you didn’t see any actual f*ing.

With a few fabulous exceptions – like Gaiman’s touching and beautiful sex scene in American Gods – lots of books are the same way.

Graphic descriptions of dismemberment, zombies eating people, or exactly what brains look like when you bash a skull?

No problem!

Graphic descriptions of an orgasm?

Hell, no!

Seriously, society? Seriously?!?

We’re cool with all the blood, guts, brains, and death, but we can’t handle something most of us do on a fairly frequent basis? Something that motivates us to do crazy, horrible, and beautiful things?

fuck all that

Yeah, fuck that.

I’m gonna go write some smut.

Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my newsletter for updates, teasers, and free stories!

19 thoughts on “Why Erotica? Leave a comment

  1. These have long been my arguments as well when it comes to sex versus violence. I think it’s especially challenging for women to reconcile the domestic with the creative in the realm of sexuality, but culturally things may be opening up just a bit in the US. Keep examining and above all, keep writing!


    • Great points! I think it is harder for women – we have to deal with the whole virgin/whore duality. “Good” women aren’t supposed to enjoy sex, and sexual woman aren’t supposed to be “good.” Hmmmm…sounds like I need to write another blog post! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Agreed! I don’t ever think this double standard is going away. But intelligent people know that all of us have the capacity to be both “good” and “bad” if there really is such a thing.


  2. Great article. And admittedly, if a Norse god showed up in my personal space, I’d be inspired to hit the keyboard, after various other less sedentary activities, of course.


  3. How dare you write about things that people always do behind closed doors with the lights of and their eyes closed and only for the purposes of procreation, never for pleasure. Awful person you.


    Fellow female erotica author here, and couldn’t have said it better myself. Preach sister. Bang that smutty shit out and screw the naysayers, they probably just need a good hard humping anyways.


    • Hahaha, thanks for the mini heart attack! 😉

      If it all happened behind closed doors, with the lights off, and for procreation only, I really don’t think anyone would have anything to write about…


  4. So well said, sister! And of course I must enthusiastically echo E Jarvis: “Bang that smutty shit out and screw the naysayers, they probably just need a good hard humping anyways.”


  5. I love this. For a lot of people Smut=Porn. That doesn’t have to be the case. Smut can be porn and sex and gore and kink and love and lust and ….

    Pushing boundaries rocks. Keep it up. Do what makes your brain buzz like a Hitachi vibrator.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: