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How to Write an Awesome Sex Scene, Part II

As I wrote in my first How to Write an Awesome Sex Scene post (read it here), a great sex scene isn’t just about the sex. If people want just sex, there’s this thing called the “Internet…”

The Internet – it’s just like this


A great written sex scene does what Google can’t – it takes us inside the characters, helping us to understand their emotional lives.

So your sex scene isn’t just about the physical act. It’s about making sex part of a larger, complex human story.

How the heck do you do that?

han solo shrug

Here’s a few (more) tips:

Vanilla’s Not the Only Flavor


There’s a whole, wide world between Trent Reznor and Barry Manilow. And hey, both have their place.

So what flavor is this scene?

Is this a passionate encounter between two characters who’ve just met at a sweaty, crowded nightclub? Have your characters reunited after a painful separation? Or did they just make up after a huge argument?

Know if you’re describing “Let’s Get it On” or “I Wanna F*ck You Like an Animal” – then be sure your language, descriptions, and dialouge match your flavor.


Yes, there is also a whole, wide world of sexual positions out there.


It may be tempting to have your characters try out all the positions in the Kama Sutra.

Do not do this.

Your sex scenes are about emotions and relationships, not just technical details. And if you’re trying to bend over your desk with your arms around your ankles just to see if it’s physically possible, your reader is going go:


You do not want a confused reader.

If you can’t describe a position in a sentence or two, it’s time to get a little less complicated.


I’ve read a lot of sex scenes (hey, it’s research!) and, in many of them, the characters don’t say a damn thing.


I think that’s a waste.

You’re trying to create an intense, emotional moment. You’re trying to reveal something telling about both (or more?) of your characters.

So go ahead and have them SAY something! You already know what they’re thinking – what might they say? What do they want to say? What might they say… without intending to say it?


The Morning After

morning after mint

Don’t underestimate the emotional impact of waking up next to someone. Or waking up without someone.

Is it awkward? Is it tender?

What do the characters want from their partner(s) in the cold light of morning? What do they say? How do they act?

Remember, a great sex scene is about more than just sex. So don’t forget to describe what comes next!

Now get writing!


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